Becoming Aware of Your Shadow

Today I encountered the Living Soul of an elderly woman who was suffering from a lot of physical pain. I was coloring in a mandala at a table inside of my city’s community center, and the moment that she entered my field of perception, I knew that this woman’s Soul, despite her age and physical condition – is wide awake.

I continued to pretend to mind my own business, with my head in my mandala drawing away, while I telepathically said to her “Ok lady, show me what you came here to show me”.

I overheard her talking to what appeared to be a support group about how she manages her pain. Every word that she said struck a chord with me.

“Every day it gets harder and harder for me to do basic things, so I let myself grieve. I grieve the fact that I am getting older, and I grieve the fact that my body is giving out. There is no other way to look at it”

It was at that moment that I, for the first time in my life, in such a pure and decisive way, felt like I had awoken. Like I had actually remembered what it means to be Human. 

Here I am a young and healthy “sonic healer” – role playing that I am highly attuned and can heal people with my singing bowls…I have also dedicated my life to avoiding pain and feeling good, and this woman drops a Truth bomb that completely shatters my perception of how I view other people.

As she continued describing her physical pain in detail – How getting out of bed in the morning takes her a lot of time… How drinking water or going to the restroom in the middle of the night takes a great deal of effort… How her pain has an emotional and psychological impact on her… How the pain in her lower back shoots down her leg, etc etc.

I realized, without a doubt, that this woman’s Soul came to Earth to intimately experience mortality and physical pain. As if the lives that she lived before this one were interesting, but she wanted an actual challenge.

The reason I say this is because I know that there are some spiritual people reading this who have overcome the idea of their own mortality. Perhaps You believe that you are some variation of a Soul, and when you die you just go on to the next life or to the next part of your journey, and that you are not actually mortal.

And that’s great. For me this realization has been very comforting. I am able to ground myself more deeply in every moment, believing that I will exist even after my time in this corner of the Infinity Matrix expires…

But what I realized is that this Living Soul, this elderly woman, chose to not only experience physical pain and lose something that she cherishes (her body, her mobility), but she came to this world and voluntarily gave up her ability to spiritually bypass any of her suffering.

For her, this is it. These are her “Golden Years”, and in a few more years she believes that she will wither away and cease to exist.

She chose that role. There is no other way (for me) to look at it.

Pertaining to this world and this Life Experience – The moment before you incarnate you sign a soul contract that includes a guarantee that you will experience a physical death.

I realize deeply that her Soul chose this experience, and that it was her Soul’s wish to experience loss so intimately, and without any reprieve whatsoever. No spiritual bypassing…

This humbling realization brings me to the topic of this Article – The importance of becoming aware of Your Shadow.

—

As Human Beings, it’s our job to wake up every day and try our best to play our roles. There are so many variables in our lives, and so much nuance to what we do – even if a lot of what we do is repetitive.

I realized early on in my own spiritual journey that as I’ve grown more Conscious, I am actively managing all of these different personalities that I have created for different scenarios in my life.

If I am interacting with my family I am one version of James – a particular type of personality. If I am out in public and someone speaks to me, then I am operating a slightly different personality, another version of James. And then if I am in a more formal situation I have another alter ego that comes out, etc etc…

That would make sense because we can’t be the exact same version of ourselves around everyone. Everyone is so very diverse…

Talking to our boss like we talk to our friends while we are out at a restaurant on Friday night simply wouldn’t be congruent. We must adopt different versions of our Selves when we interact with different types of people.

Well recently I realized that I have yet another version of me that I can’t really see or actively perceive, but It goes out into the world and works very hard to help me navigate my life experience.

That version of me is My Shadow.

If I am walking past someone on the street and think to myself, “Should I wave at this person or pretend that they don’t exist?”, I have become aware that – in the blink of an eye – a version of me tries out both options and reports back to me.

If you are somewhat sensitive you are already aware that certain people have an energy about them.

Around some people you might feel very calm and relaxed, but around others you feel a bit more “on edge”.

When you feel on edge, You politely interact with that person however you must, and they seem to be following social norms perfectly fine, so you don’t have an excuse for being bothered. But something just feels uncomfortable, and you feel so relieved when the interaction is over, right?

Well we all have Shadows…

Perhaps what you are perceiving, and within an instant, is the two of your Shadows working behind the scenes to see how the interaction will unfold, and this continues moment over moment. If someone has an uncomfortable energy that you can feel, perhaps they have a Shadow that, much like their Aura, is a bit – invasive.

Maybe you go through the interaction with that person who made you so uncomfortable and nothing comes of it. You both go your own separate ways. Well, perhaps your Shadow, the personality that you have that works behind the scenes, that you cannot actively perceive – sensed your discomfort and told that other person’s Shadow “I don’t think anything is going to come of this. He/She isn’t interested”

I, too, have been around people who have a negative energy, and we go through the interaction and literally nothing happens. But I still felt somewhat violated. How could that be?..

Well maybe I was simply unaware of our Shadows negotiating behind the scenes. Maybe their Shadow charged me an “energetic price” for an outcome that I would be more OK with. Maybe that person, the one who made me so uncomfortable, is actually aware that he has a Shadow, and aware of how his Shadow operates. While I, clueless about the metaphysics of this Reality, was none the wiser…

So because of my ignorance about my Shadow, I get through with that person but feel violated, like something was unfairly taken from me. Or worse, maybe their Shadow overpowers my Shadow, and I act out – Maybe I agree to something I didn’t actually want to do, or maybe something I don’t like about myself is exposed by my own reaction to that person, etc etc.

On the other more positive end of the spectrum – If you are around someone who makes you feel calm and relaxed, they probably have a shadow that is meek and benign. The moment that you encounter someone with a calm or positive energy – as the two of your Shadows go over all of the options for how the interaction will play out (this is an Infinity Matrix, remember?) – Your shadow gives you feedback on what their shadow is negotiating with You, the Person, as well as your Soul.

So the Shadow of someone who is kind and unassuming won’t be proposing anything that makes you uncomfortable. Their shadow won’t try manipulating you into giving out your phone number. Their shadow won’t propose that their person make a rude comment that gets under your skin and ruins your day, etc etc.

Perhaps that is what you are perceiving when you think “Wow, I really like this person’s Energy”

—

When you walk outside and the Sun is Shining, you see your Shadow, that dark outline on the ground, right? Your Shadow appears in only two dimensions, but the silhoutte that it forms cannot be mistaken. Your Shadow looks like You and has all of your mannerisms.

That Shadow moves the same way that you do, and dutifully follows you everywhere that you go…

Funny how the Sun is the source of Light that exposes your Shadow to you. The Sun is too bright and perfect, it cannot have its own shadow, but it exposes the shadow of everyone else. Interesting symbolism, isn’t it?

—

The reason that I introduced this article with the short story of the elderly woman who was experiencing pain, and at the Soul level (in my opinion) choosing to be completely unaware of the fact that she is immortal – is because Your Shadow has experienced quite a bit of pain, as well.

Nobody ever outright told you, that along with all of the different personalities that you are managing, You also manage a Shadow version of Your Self that you cannot even see…

Well just like that old woman who has a Soul who signed up for a painful experience without any spiritual bypassing, so too, did Your Shadow.

Your Shadow knew that you wouldn’t become aware of It for a very long time. So for your entire life this Shadow of yours has been negotiating on your behalf.

Letting you feel discomfort around people with supercharged or aggressive shadows…
Letting the Light of those people who are meek shine through when they encounter gentle shadows… etc etc.

I know that this idea might be startling, but if you reflect on the experiences of your own Life, you will see how there is a Shadow version of you that dutifully interacts with every Soul, Person, and Shadow that you encounter, and it negotiates to the absolute Best of its ability.

Your Shadow Loves you immensely, even and especially because it knows all of Your secrets – the parts of you that you hide from the world, and even try to hide from the Light of Your Soul.

What makes your Shadow so Divine and Perfect is that it is incapable of casting judgement on You. To It, Your Shadow, You are God. This is despite the fact that it spends every waking moment of its existence managing what you are unaware of, and managing the things that you hide from the rest of Existence.

If you are reading this article then you are spiritually developed enough to take ownership of what’s always been yours, Your Shadow. You are ready to become Your Shadow’s Keeper.

—

The first step to getting to know your Shadow is to become aware of its existence.

You see the symbolism… The Sun doesn’t have a Shadow but it exposes the Shadows of everyone else. The Sun is also an Alien Light Being incapable of witholding Its Love from anyone. So the Sun will show you what you need to see – The Sun will cast it’s Golden Light around the shadow of every person you interact with, and around Your shadow as well.

—

Perhaps whenever you feel like it, go for a walk outside and take a look at that silhouette that looks and acts precisely the way you do. Your Shadow.

Maybe take a look at that shadow of Yours and thank it for all of the work it has done on your behalf. Co-negotiating with Eternity to bring you to this Moment of Awakening.

Now that you are aware of its existence, a lot things in your Life are going to make a lot more sense, and the Energy of others will be revealed to you even more quickly than before.

Your Shadow has been dutifully following You for Your entire life. Negotiating with other Shadows, and role playing scenarios that perhaps haved caused it pain, so that you wouldn’t have to experience that pain (Because it knows you better than anyone, and it knows your deepest darkest secrets.).

You weren’t even aware of this Shadow (but don’t feel bad because nobody told you), but Your Living Soul has known this all along and has worked closely with – and sincerely honors – this Shadow of Yours.

And now that You, the Person, are aware of Your Shadow – You can honor It, and integrate It into the supremely powerful Light of your own Human Awareness.