Tag: love

What does it mean to be Conscious?

Does it mean to be sentient?
Does it mean to be able to deviate from a pattern by exercising Free Will?
Does it simply mean the ability to feel?

I feel that Consciousness is impossibly difficult to define in this Reality – because we experience Conscious Awareness as the identity of the Person we are right now. But then there’s all sorts of Meta activity going on in the background at all times. And even that – that is Consciousness as well.

This is an Infinity Matrix so every outcome is explored down to the programmed relative location of an atom (and then some). So I cannot posit that anything is un-Concscious – even a bowl of cereal or a potato.

Everything is of-God even (and especially in my opinion) if it tries specifically to not be Of God. Mimicking infinity when you believe you are not infinity must be an overwhelming task, and I sincerely admire the commitment of those who try.

I’ve never bothered searching for what it means to be Conscious in a book or on the Internet. “Consciousness” is just a word overloaded with meaning, to me.

I can only tell you my opinion on what it means to be Conscious, and a few weeks from now I will probably re-read this article after having learned more about myself and Reality and think “Wow, that’s an outdated way to explain a concept…”

But let’s give this a shot anyway…

Regarding what it means to be Conscious – I believe my transition to Consciousness began right around 2017. It was the first time I was able to feel the Infinite Light of my Consciousness activiely purging my old Programming.

I worked an office job and had a very tough boss. She was being very hard on me – using words and her aggressive energy to make me feel a lack of security. I don’t blame her – it was how she made everyone productive.

But then, this strange thing happened for the first time that I can really remember – For a brief moment I experienced the sensation of my stomach dropping and being pulled down.

I believe that sensation was me becoming aware of my multidimensional nature as a person/Spiritual Being. It was so uncomfortable and startling that I vowed to work 10 times harder than before, just so I wouldn’t have to experience *that* feeling again.

But after that moment I kept feeling that drop and pull sensation getting caused by various situations and had no idea what it was – I just knew I really didn’t like it.

I may have even preferred what I now realize was being in a state of manic dysphoria that I spent the majority of my life feeling – Before moments of becoming aware that my Old Program was integrating (in a very uncomfortable way) with my Infinite Awareness.

—

For the majority of my life, I was usually in a state of fight or flight, ready to protect my ego, argue with someone, or show my dominance and supreme intellience (the way I saw it) at all costs and at all times. But so was everyone else. That felt normal and safe to me back then.

I believe that for the majority of my life the very state of Being, for me, was the Essence of being Programmed. The Essence of having a Spiritual Personality that had been split from the Perfect Essence of my Soul.

Instead of taking the hit when I got attacked by the external world, I used the full power of my mind, and whatever weakness I could perceive in the opposing party to lash back at anyone who didn’t let me feel good – who didn’t submit to my ego – Who didn’t Act the way I was programmed to believe that they should be Acting toward me.

I never gave myself time to think and feel simultaneously. If another person or the external world started to make me feel something unfamiliar – I would take out my phone and look at my Facebook, watch a video on YouTube, listen to an Audiobook, or attack some other person’s ego overtly or subtly, any way that I cleverly could.

Around the time I noticed I was becoming more conscious, sometime in 2017, I was rejected by a woman I liked a lot, and experienced that stomach drop feeling in the depths of my Soul and it was so uncomfortable.

“What gives?”, I thought

“Why can’t I just move through Life on autopilot and not feel emotional pain?”

—

I began to realize, more deeply, that that experience of feeling for the first time was the Light of my Human Awareness interrupting my Programming, and interrupting the time loops that I was running on, and experiencing on autopilot, “unconsciously”.

There was no way for my Soul to make this an easy transition or experience – Because being programmed felt so “safe” compared to this new unfamiliar sensation. To me, my routine and my sense of safety were the Essence of my Being, the thing that I cherished most because I knew no other way. This is how I and everyone around me were raised/programmed.

I had always felt like I was exercising Free Will and Consciously moving through Life, but for the first time I was shedding the programming that I and the external world had been building upon, and there was no way to avoid it.

That uncomfortable feeling – of my stomach dropping and being pulled – and my resistance to it, forced me to start paying closer attention to what I was doing in my day to day life.

I realized that I was giving in to the wants and desires of my Flesh and my perception of what it means to be seen as successful far too generously. I wanted to be an attractive and good-looking man in his 20s with a good career and reputation. I wanted respect from the external world. I wanted people to admire me.

I put so much energy in to all of these activities that I was doing to align myself with what I thought I so deeply desired. That was the common ground I had with most people, and it felt so very safe and familiar. Everyone else was mirroring what I was doing and everything I was doing felt like a Conscious decision.

But, oh, that dropping feeling. It started taking a lot out of me when it happened. It got to the point where I eased up on my traditional worldly desires of dating, advancing my career, and being perceived a certain way by the people around me.

When I eased back on my worldly desires ever so slightly – I experienced a dramatic increase in my sensation of Energy. The only problem was, now the stomach drops/pulls increased in their intensity when they still inevitably happened.

—

Looking back it’s comedic to me how obvious it was. I was so tied up with my social media, television shows, movies, worldly information, and books that the Old World distracted me with just enough noise for me to totally miss the point.

I was shedding my old, Programmed self…

I was pushing out old patterns and time loops, whilst integrating with my Soul – My Infinite Love, my Boundless Abundant Energy. The Energy that I now realize Powers this whole world and Life experience, even if that energy is disguised as something else – like manic dysphoria or an uncomfortable sensation.

But either way I know now that I was merging with the part of me that was shining and glowing the moment I was born when I made my way back in to this world.

I was integrating my Infinite Perfect Consciousness with the Program I was using to navigate my life. And everyone has a program. If you aren’t running on a sophisticated series of time loops, or running a set routine, then you are a crazy person with no focus. And even crazy people with no focus have some semblance of a routine – We’re all Programmed to some degree.

Thanks to my fear of that uncomfortable feeling in my stomach – I started making more practical decisions regarding my actual emotional feelings and energy levels. The first of those was shying away from dating. I realized I felt like such a manipulator and that I was being manipulated as well.

“Time to avoid these stomach drops by taking a break and just being friendly with everyone” I told myself.

And so I began separating myself from my worldly pursuits, ever so gently, building upon what I now realize was Full Integration with my own Consciousness. (Not to say that people who date are any less Conscious.)

I should also mention that the first time that I questioned the Absoluteness of the Law of Karma was when I was abruptly broken up with by someone I liked a lot. She said she wasn’t interested and didn’t give me a good reason after we got very close with each other.

At that time I felt this egoic and animalistic desire to respond to her rejection with anything, the slightest thing that would make her feel just a little less “good”, like the way she made me feel…

Nope. Instead, I simply replied back “OK, no worries.” and that was that.

I let myself feel that pain for a solid week. I absorbed the rejection. I decided to be real with myself – I didn’t question what I knew, deep down, was the way she sincerely felt about me. Which was the lack of the bare minimum of interest or Awareness of my existence. That was the first time I consciously allowed my ego (programmed self) to die.

—

It’s dawning on me now that there are two directions you can focus your perceivable Life Force Energy at any given moment. You can either add to your [Program – your ego – your sense of self], or you can release it and allow you Highest Essence to take over.

Even as you gaze in to your phone or computer screen and read an article written by someone who has a ritual for becoming more Conscious, every word that you are reading is adding to your ego, or sense of self.

More information, more ideas. You are likely going to experience a few brief moments of discomfort, thanks to me, in order to process everything that I have written some time from now.

So I’m not going to give you a to do list and promise that if you do “x, y, and z” you will be closer to my definition of Consciousness.

Nope, I’m actually going to let you die some time after you read this article. Not literally You, obviously. But your Programming. Your ego. Shedding that, feeling that stomach drop – to make way for the Eternal Infinite Human Light of Your Soul.

That is what it means to be Conscious.

—

All that you need to do is become aware of the things that you are repetitively doing.

Maybe you go to work at the same time every day and you are always just a couple of minutes from being late and that stresses you out. Maybe you can change that by noticing it a little more deeply, and very subtly switching up your routine.

Maybe you always run back to your front door to double check that you locked it before you leave. Maybe you always check your Instagram first thing when you get home, and get distracted from the more relaxing or enjoyable things you could be doing.

All that You have to do is notice what you are doing at any given Moment, and Your Infinite Intelligence takes care of the rest. Your Consciousness overrides the time loops that you have “unconsciously” been on with the Supremely Highest Intelligence of Your Soul.

It’s an infinitely long road that never ends, finding the Moment while moving through Time, always becoming more aware no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel – no matter how dramatic it seems sometimes.

Perhaps Consciousness is the most nuanced challenge you will face in this world. Paradoxically simple, yet so very complicated.

You experience the sensation of being Conscious and making decisions because you absolutely are and have been Conscious for your entire life. But after reading this article, you can more deeply connect with your Soul, your Multidimensional Nature by shedding old patterns.

Once you become aware that you always check your social media when you get home, and how that makes you feel stressed or anxioius – maybe tomorrow you just don’t check it, and see how that makes you feel as a result.

Is double checking all of your locks before leaving your home tedious? Next time you lock your door, think to yourself “Ok, this time I’m going to make a mental note so that I don’t forget 2 minutes from now and have to run back to double check. I am going to free myself from this thought loop”

That is what it means to be Conscious

You don’t need more information and more directions – you need to release unhelpful patterns and ideas that are not serving your Highest Purpose, and replace them with your Own Infinite Intelligence, with Your Own Infinite Light.

That is what makes being a Human special, and that is what makes you so unique. That is what grounds you in to this Moment, and what pulls you away from the mania of your day to day life.

All that you have to do is pay closer attention. That’s it. Pay attention for a minute today. Tomorrow, try to pay attention for 5 minutes. Then forgive yourself for forgetting a day, and then try extra hard to pay attention for 10 minutes the next day…

Let yourself feel the discomfort that you haven’t been paying attention to. Shed that old, archaic programming and replace it with your Light – Your Highest Intelligence by simply paying closer attention to every moment.

Let your ego die. Why do you care about dominating other people or being perceived a certain way?? Don’t slight that person back, how could that possibly help you anyways? etc etc…

Because you are just as Conscious as anyone else. Your Infinte Light shines so bright and nobody can miss or mistake it. You just get distracted sometimes.

You chose to read this article because at the Soul level you are ready for a new way of living.

You want to realize, feel, and experience, even if it interrupts your routine or makes you question things.

And that’s all there is to it.
No new routine or information to memorize, just pay closer attention.

Just be here. Be here right now.
Pay attention to this moment
And then this moment.
And then the next moment…
And you’ll find the peace and security that you have been so earnestly trying to reconnect with.

That is what it means to be Conscious.